I took some time out to feel the feelings. When this website was a spark in the back of my brain I promised that it would be a positive space, my creative avenue. In the last week or two elements of my existence have been turned upside down and I had very little control over it. Instead of venting and ranting, potentially getting myself in trouble for the things I had the potential to write I decided to take some time out to feel the feelings. Let me tell you my darlings, feeling the feelings is not fun when those feelings are less than positive.
Let me tell you the story. In the organisation I work for there are
some planned movements for professionals. In my head I had assumed that I would be assigned extra responsibilities but that my role would pretty much remain the same. However I was thrown a curve ball and instead I will have to change roles. What this means is brand new clients, brand new reporting structures, new demands and new colleagues. All pretty big changes! I’m not opposed to change but I guess I took for granted other peoples responses to the changes. Clients reacted with feelings of anger, sadness and disbelief, colleagues responded similarly and I adopted those feelings as my own.
I thought since having to re-learn what are “real” feelings and what is symptoms of anxiety, that I was perfectly capable of identifying feelings and reacting to them appropriately. Alas this was not the case and I spent a considerable amount of time in “I don’t Know” land. All questions about my responses, What did I think/ Feel/ Want? were met with “I don’t know” because I didn’t! Life had thrown my poor brain a curve ball that it wasn’t sure how to respond to. It’s even harder to respond to others feelings on a subject when you yourself haven’t decided your reaction to it.
I am happy to announce that after much deliberation this move will be a positive one. I may not agree with how it happened or the way that it was done but I am welcoming this brand new challenge. It can only be a good thing to shake yourself up and re-engage in a brand new way with a fresh start. Sure parts of it will be tough but let’s be honest the best things in life usually need a little bit of work.
Most importantly my lovelies in my time out I have dreamt up a number of fabulously creative articles to share with you all- So I will not be going anywhere any time soon. Yippee!! Thank you all for being so patient with me.