6 reasons you got Ghosted!!

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Consider this your no holds barred guide to why you got Ghosted. Nobody else is going to tell you, but I will! Ghosting can happen to anyone at any time but here are a list of the 6 most likely reasons you got, or could still get, Ghosted.For those curious about or engaged in online dating Ghosting is a very real possibility.

This article is hetero framed and has a cisgendered  approach. It may not seem like a right fit for your particular situation but feel free to edit pronouns and adjectives until it fits your individual situation.

Ghosting is defined by Urban dictionary as:

The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject’s maturity and communication skills. Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.

1.       You’re just so damn fine he “Can’t Even”

Let’s face it you’re a hot ass bitch!! All that fineness in one sitting could just have been too much for one male to cope with . Your encounter has left him with a permanent case of the “Cant Evens”  thus rendering him non communicative- You super fox you!!

2. Your mere presence has catapulted him into a state of regression.

So much awesome compounded into one person can be a lot for some folks to deal with. He was clearly mentally unable to process it all and as a result his brain has reset to an earlier point in his psychological development. Most likely a point where he was socially awkward and unable to communicate with objects of his affection. Such is the plight of the overly awesome chick engaging in online dating.

3.       Your bedroom gymnastics have left him in a permanent state of arousal.

 If the swine ghosted post coitus, chances are that he has a mahoosive boner that just won’t quit. The man was so blown away by your boudoir manoeuvres that he has been rendered incapable of controlling his member. Embarrased by his lack of ability to control his functions he has retired to the life of a hermit and has cut off all contact with the outside world. Completely understandable.

4.       You are such an amazing person that you have inspired him to be better.

 Time spent with you has helped him come to the realisation that he must work harder to become a better person.  He packed up all his shit, moved to India, is working on finding himself and is volunteering at an orphanage. He has a whole Eat, Pray,  Love thing going on. He was so caught up in the excitement of it all that he forgot to text you. Not to worry, he will always consider you his inspiration for the move.

5.       Your hilarity knocked him out.

 You’ve got all this good shit going on AND you’re funny too. It can be too much for one man to handle.  Were you funnier than him? What have you been told about being funnier than boys, they don’t like it! How very dare you!!

6.       He has become far too accustomed to two dimensional women.

You know the type, overtly fixated on their “ideal” woman. Usually this ideal is semi clothed or undressed with bionic breasts and an ass that would make Kimmy K green with envy. Unfortunately in his world such a babe generally has limited conversational skills. Her key phrases are “Oh my, it’s so big!” “Harder baby Harder” and not forgetting  “You’re the best I’ve ever had” in fairness to her its hard to make conversation when they insist on shoving foreign objects in your mouth.

Bonus Reason
Failing all this he could just be a grade A bonafide asshole!!

Unfortunately these creatures actually exist. Nobody is quite sure where they come from.They walk among us virtually undetectable. The main difference between them and us is that they were spat at a wall and formed rather than being born in a traditional manner, oh and their complete disregard for other people and their feelings.

Thankfully this individual eliminated themselves from your existence, at least we can thank them for that much. If they balk at basic human interaction how in the hell would they manage when shit got serious. Pour yourself a big glass of whatever you fancy, celebrate the fact that you are a fabulous individual and thank the universe that there is one less asshat out there that you have to deal with.

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