I’m hoping that the heading to this post will create the desired effect- that you will be curious to see what I’m at and click to find out more. That or I’ve disgraced my mother/ family and sent heaps of people recoiling in horror at the thought of me and my jiggly bits getting naked in public. Continue reading
Modern dating is tricky. I say “tricky” what I mean is outright f*cking infuriating nad frustrating. We live in a world filled with communication methods- there are hundreds if messaging apps. Still, a bitch can’t get a text back- Even when there’s a read receipt in place.
When did we all decide to stop dating? Instead we’re hanging out and hooking up and the boundaries are fuzzier than ever. Are we doing a thing? Are we exclusive? Do you see this the same way I do? Or maybe I just don’t know the rules and need to be excluded from the game.
After years of dating, breakups, turn downs and traumas I have learned one thing. If he’s not making the effort back and pursuing you- He’s just not interested. I’m not suggesting we, sit around sniffing our smelling salts like a damsel in in need of a big, strong man to come and rescue us. That’s not my point here at all. My point is this: Men seem to have forgotten how to pursue women. And women seem to have picked up that slack by becoming the pursuers. Don’t pick me up wrong, I wear my feminist badge with pride but part of being an empowered woman is knowing your heart, your time, and your company is worth being wooed and pursued. You are worthy of someone caring enough to make the damn effort Perhaps you have a different opinion or have had a different experience, and that’s okay. That’s why this is my blog and not yours – sorry bout it :). If you do connect with this concept, however, and if you’ve lost days, months or years of your life to chasing a man who plays hard to get or runs hot and cold, this ones for you.
1- It’s humiliating, exhausting, and downright bad for your self-esteem.
It’s impossible to feel good about yourself if you’re willing to trade in your dignity for a pair of running shoes in order to chase after any man. And your dignity and self-esteem are never worth surrendering, for anyone or anything. If you have to chase him, here’s the cold, hard truth: He doesn’t want to be caught. A man who wants to be with a woman will always be running TOWARD her, not away from her. I’m not saying don’t reach out and make the first move! Go for it girl, take the risk, but if he doesn’t acknowledge the guts and vulnerability it takes to make that move- move on, you’re wasting your energy.
2-He’s clearly not that great of a guy.
Why? Because a man of character would stop dodging and evading and being shady and would sit down with you face-to-face to tell you honestly that he doesn’t want to be with you. Or at least send the “We should be FRIENDS” text He wouldn’t keep playing games with your heart or keep you hanging around as his backup plan. Cause if he is you’re dealing with a good ol fashioned fuck boy.
3-Sometimes he’ll give you a little, just to try you out.
If you’re chasing him and for a moment he deems you “good enough”, he might just indulge you for a little while, no matter how interested he really is. Not having to make any effort whatsoever doesn’t happen that often, so he’s unlikely to turn that down. Still, we all know just because a guy is willing to fool around with you doesn’t mean he actually cares in any way.
4- You do not want to be stuck doing all the work!
If you set a precedent where you’re always the one initiating conversations and making plans, he’s going to stay lazy. Breaking his habit of waiting for you to come to him won’t be easy, and you deserve more than that. F’real if texting back is a super effort- how irritating will it be to try and make plans. And lets be frank if he’s that lazy/ uncaring in life- how’s it gonna work out in bed?
5- Think of What You’re missing out on!!
You are missing out on the things and people and relationships that are meant for you by wasting all your time and energy on the things that aren’t. When you stop chasing the things that aren’t for you, you give the things that ARE a chance to catch up to you. But as long as you’re caught up in the drama of an on-again, off-again endless pursuit of a maybe something. You’re closing off all of the amazing people and things things already staring you right in the face.
Wherever you’re at, I hope that you’ll realize that you are worth being pursued. You deserve someone who is willing to put in equal effort, who is willing to do whatever it takes to capture your heart. Take off those running shoes and give your legs, head and your heart a break.
It’s that time again where politicians are banging down our doors and pushing leaflets in our letter boxes in search of votes. I’m sure I’m not the only one out there who has been conned by a politician looking for … Continue reading
I go on a rant about the latest trend in Body Shaming Bullshit!! Continue reading
Earlier this week Dame Angela Lansbury won an Olivier Award for her performance in the West End production of Blithe Spirit. When she accepted the award, the 89-year-old actress said that she felt like “a million bucks” and joked that … Continue reading
Wanna hear me on the radio? Today is your lucky day!
Let me know what you think!
Ladies and Gentlemen I have some quite exciting news. I shook the online dating tree and I found myself a date!! The gent in question will be referred to as Mr. Fisher from here on out, online dating aficionados may … Continue reading
I spent this Saturday in the company of some brilliantly interesting people at the Rocky Horror Picture Show in Dublin’s Sugar Club- When it comes around again you most definitely must attend! At this event I found myself talking to … Continue reading
By now it should come as no surprise that I am a Feminist. This is a statement that still causes confusion and controversy. The following is a list of reasons why I am a feminist.
I want to be heard.
Were it not for feminism there is a likelyhood that I would be in a kitchen some place scrubbing pots, pans and floors with a litter of little uns at my feet and very little time to share my unique insights with you lovelies. Once upon a time ladies were for admiring not for listening to. I for one am glad for feminism so that I can write.
I believe my uterus is my business.
Alas I live in Ireland and my uterus and it’s occpancy status is the business of the government. However because I am a feminist and I think your uterus is your business not anyone elses. For the women of the world who can claim this as a fact I salute you, you lucky bitches.
I think Slut Shaming is anti woman nonsense.
Slut shaming is a load of old bollocks!! Everybody should be free to wear whatever the hell they want without a bunch of finger waggers casting aspersions on someones character . Quite frankly you should be allowed sleep with whoever the hell you want and not get judged for it. Just be safe n consensual y’know.
Different wages for different genders is nonsense.
Having ovaries does not make you incapable, owning breasts does not make us less able to do a job, we didn’t have babies by ourselves there was another individual involved. Why the frick do we get less wages because of our biology. Nonsense!!
A woman is a woman is a woman.
If you were born it, became it, dress as it, call yourself it, want to be it, then you are it- if you so choose. The idea that a trans woman is less of a woman than any other woman is a nonsense. Quite frankly we need as many sisters as we can get, welcome aboard kitten. I salute you and your bravery.
I want to be able to walk late at night.
Nobody bats an eyelid at the thought of a man walking late at night. Mention that a woman might like to go for a midnight stroll and she is “asking to be raped”. There’s no such sanctions placed on rapists however women everywhere are forced to alter their behaviour on threat of an attack. Here’s an idea why don’t we preach a message that stands against rape and female violence instead of teaching little girls to be afraid and alter their behaviour.
Riots not Diets.
More focus is put on the size of Kim Kardashians arse than is given to the revolutionary women of the world. Screw calorie counting let’s start counting injustices and doing something about them!!
I have short purple hair and I couldn’t give a flying fiddlers.
A beauty standard is set of what women “should” wear, look like, behave like and it’s a load of old nonsense. Because of feminism I believe my choices are my choices I look, think, act and dress however the hell I like. If you don’t like it that is quite alright kindly look the other way.
I love men.
I know tonnes of men, hell I’m even related to a few. Feminism means that men aren’t restricted to traditional notions of masculinity. They can be whatever kind of man they choose to be. If they choose to be a feminist man all the better!!
Because the word Feminist still scares people.
There are still so many people who do not identify as a feminist. We’ve had some bad press. There are a few feminists that tout the “all men are rapists” line, I’m not one of those. I do think that you should be able to be whatever you want, be educated , be married without having to take a surname, have children and generally live a kick ass life in whatever way you choose or don’t choose. Moreover you should not be treated unfairly because of your gender. If you believe your money is your own and you have the right to keep it, congratulations you are a feminist. I promise it’s not that scary.
Mug by Skullmuggery