Modern dating is tricky. I say “tricky” what I mean is outright f*cking infuriating nad frustrating. We live in a world filled with communication methods- there are hundreds if messaging apps. Still, a bitch can’t get a text back- Even when there’s a read receipt in place.
When did we all decide to stop dating? Instead we’re hanging out and hooking up and the boundaries are fuzzier than ever. Are we doing a thing? Are we exclusive? Do you see this the same way I do? Or maybe I just don’t know the rules and need to be excluded from the game.
After years of dating, breakups, turn downs and traumas I have learned one thing. If he’s not making the effort back and pursuing you- He’s just not interested. I’m not suggesting we, sit around sniffing our smelling salts like a damsel in in need of a big, strong man to come and rescue us. That’s not my point here at all. My point is this: Men seem to have forgotten how to pursue women. And women seem to have picked up that slack by becoming the pursuers. Don’t pick me up wrong, I wear my feminist badge with pride but part of being an empowered woman is knowing your heart, your time, and your company is worth being wooed and pursued. You are worthy of someone caring enough to make the damn effort Perhaps you have a different opinion or have had a different experience, and that’s okay. That’s why this is my blog and not yours – sorry bout it :). If you do connect with this concept, however, and if you’ve lost days, months or years of your life to chasing a man who plays hard to get or runs hot and cold, this ones for you.
1- It’s humiliating, exhausting, and downright bad for your self-esteem.
It’s impossible to feel good about yourself if you’re willing to trade in your dignity for a pair of running shoes in order to chase after any man. And your dignity and self-esteem are never worth surrendering, for anyone or anything. If you have to chase him, here’s the cold, hard truth: He doesn’t want to be caught. A man who wants to be with a woman will always be running TOWARD her, not away from her. I’m not saying don’t reach out and make the first move! Go for it girl, take the risk, but if he doesn’t acknowledge the guts and vulnerability it takes to make that move- move on, you’re wasting your energy.
2-He’s clearly not that great of a guy.
Why? Because a man of character would stop dodging and evading and being shady and would sit down with you face-to-face to tell you honestly that he doesn’t want to be with you. Or at least send the “We should be FRIENDS” text He wouldn’t keep playing games with your heart or keep you hanging around as his backup plan. Cause if he is you’re dealing with a good ol fashioned fuck boy.
3-Sometimes he’ll give you a little, just to try you out.
If you’re chasing him and for a moment he deems you “good enough”, he might just indulge you for a little while, no matter how interested he really is. Not having to make any effort whatsoever doesn’t happen that often, so he’s unlikely to turn that down. Still, we all know just because a guy is willing to fool around with you doesn’t mean he actually cares in any way.
4- You do not want to be stuck doing all the work!
If you set a precedent where you’re always the one initiating conversations and making plans, he’s going to stay lazy. Breaking his habit of waiting for you to come to him won’t be easy, and you deserve more than that. F’real if texting back is a super effort- how irritating will it be to try and make plans. And lets be frank if he’s that lazy/ uncaring in life- how’s it gonna work out in bed?
5- Think of What You’re missing out on!!
You are missing out on the things and people and relationships that are meant for you by wasting all your time and energy on the things that aren’t. When you stop chasing the things that aren’t for you, you give the things that ARE a chance to catch up to you. But as long as you’re caught up in the drama of an on-again, off-again endless pursuit of a maybe something. You’re closing off all of the amazing people and things things already staring you right in the face.
Wherever you’re at, I hope that you’ll realize that you are worth being pursued. You deserve someone who is willing to put in equal effort, who is willing to do whatever it takes to capture your heart. Take off those running shoes and give your legs, head and your heart a break.